Author Topic: Journey of Del Pt. 1 & 2  (Read 5392 times)

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Offline Lance

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Journey of Del Pt. 1 & 2
« on: August 07, 2008, 05:34:05 AM »
About a year and half ago I started a short story and put it up on my message boards. Ever since then I've been putting off finishing it for one reason or another. SOOOO last night I sat down around three or something made myself put some kind of a conclusion to it. Now I'd like to point out that its going to be ruff grammar/spelling/structure wise since I haven't really read over it or anything of the sort, but I decided to go ahead and put it up cause it could be another year before I get around to polishing it any. Also the original name was supposed to be "A Fine Day" but I don't really remember why since the ending I gave it now wasn't the ending I was going to give it originally since I don't really remember how I was going to end it.... originally.  :-\ So I'm sure I'll give it a new name someday.

Enjoy everyone.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2009, 01:25:58 AM by Lance »

Offline Lance

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Re: About time I did something with this
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2008, 05:34:47 AM »
Currently Revising
« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 02:16:47 PM by Lance »

avisarr

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Re: About time I did something with this
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2008, 01:22:19 PM »
I was a little confused about the sequence of events the first time I read it. The jumping back and forth between the past and the present... between the encounter at the inn 5 years ago and the present, where he's an established fighter... that threw me for a bit. But now that I've read it twice, it makes sense.

I like this story and I like the character. It's a very good beginning. Any chance we may see more of this character? I think one of the best compliments for any piece of fiction writing is when you care enough about the character to want to ask "what happens next?" And I would love to see what happens next. :)

Would you like me to post this in the Fan Fiction section of the Khoras site for you?

Offline tanis

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Re: About time I did something with this
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2008, 05:26:18 PM »
dude this is awesome. btw let me guess pericho heights is his home right?

haha sorry spoiler i'll just stay quiet unless i'm genuinely critiquing it lmao.
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Offline Lance

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Re: About time I did something with this
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2008, 03:07:45 AM »
Sorry bout the confusion everyone. I wrote pretty much everything from the fourth paragraph of part two down last night at a pretty late hour. I should be able to go back and fix that sometime soon.

And I do plan on continuing the story, and possibly write a bit about the brother and sister as well. I had quite a few notes and whatnot on an older computer, but they were lost so I'll have to try and remember what I can and start on things in the next month or so. Its been a while since I've done in any actual writing and it felt quite good.

And I think I might want to put off placing it in the Fan Fiction area yet. I want to fix a few things and give it a name of some kind first, but I promise when it is finished I would want it there if you'd have it there.

Oh and Perecho Heights would be where he was born.

Offline tanis

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Re: About time I did something with this
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2008, 12:21:27 PM »
I agree great story. and sorry for misspelling Perecho btw lol.  ::)
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.